Off The Map..so to speak

We went to San Antonio for Easter weekend. Just the two of us. Alone. It was really restful. We stayed at the historic Menger Hotel, right across the street from the Alamo. For those of you not in-the-know about Texas History: The Menger Bar (we discovered that the only Texas beer in the place by the way is Lone Star, a sin) is where Teddy Roosevelt (not yet president, obviously) organized the Rough Riders for the Spanish American War.
We had to pay homage to the Alamo. Especially since had been 175 years since the battle of the Alamo. One thing we both realized is how much we really have in common. It was great to get to know Wes again. You're reminded of what you bring out in each other. We both love Texas and Texas History, we really enjoy staying in old hotels, going to see natural wonders.
The River Walk is more crowded than it used to be, so on Saturday, we trudged a half hour north to Natural Bridge Caverns. Totally cool! I highly recommend it if you're under 5' 10" tall. We just spent time together. It was my anniversary gift from Wes. I also learned how to play Gin. I'm admittedly terrible but, with time I'll improve.

After this vacation, we decided that we're going to try to get away once a year to have a vacation. It doesn't have to be fancy. We merely have to leave town and everything that entails. Vacate your life. It will be there when you return. It's good for you and your relationship.

Sacrifices: You're Dieting, and I'm Starving!!

Wes made a wonderful decision and  joined an office weight loss competition a couple of weeks ago. Gone are the ever-so-yummy hot wings, Mexican food runs, and trips to Sonic. So far, we've lost a total of 7.5 lbs between the two of us and I'm proud to say the majority belongs to Wes. Like I mentioned before, he is a details person, he accounts for everything, keeps track of what he's eating, and and naturally, is disciplined about the process. Left to my own devices, I prefer to stuff my face. However, in an effort to try new things, expand my own horizons, and not alienate my husband, I decided to join him. Besides, the idea of watching someone else enjoy a burger and fries while you're eating baked chicken and brown rice is one of my definitions of hell. My decision to do so made home life and meals that much easier and never hurts to eat better food. The past week or two, we've been carefully pouring over the cookbooks that I have in our house which mostly consist of comfort food and anything involving butter and cream. We have a few healthy cookbooks and some that are a smattering of everything. One that we've had luck with is the Bon Appetit cookbook. They have several semi-Mediterranean recipes which Wes loves and they're low in calories. A few substitutes were made for instance, Bulgar wheat instead of couscous. We've done a great job, we cook everything on Sunday, and pack it away in lunch containers for the week so we can both grab it and go to work. This is a lifestyle change. He still wants his french fries and hot wings and I'm having a hard time staying away from the cookies and Good&Plenty but, we're making it. It's a lesson in supporting one another and making a change together. Diet is one of the little things, I know but, it's a small step towards being stronger as a couple.

Approaching the Fist Year

Sunday is our first anniversary. We made it! The things we learned this year:

1. Establish day-to-day duties from the beginning: He takes out the trash, I go to the store, he does the dishes, I do the laundry. We hired a maid, for our own sanity.

2. Family is important. Spending time with them helps you remember who you are and where your values are as a couple. Don't underestimate the power of family.

3. Alone time is great! Taking the opportunity to get out of town together, go to an impromptu movie, or go out to dinner are great opportunities to strengthen the relationship. Carpe Diem.

4. Career is important at this stage in our lives and sometimes we have to make concessions both with time and household duties to ensure that each person is able to reach their professional potential.

5. If one of you gets sick, the house looks like a bomb went off. You're both part of a well - oiled machine.

6. Establishing your own traditions is important, it separates you as a couple from the other parts of your family and helps carve out a special identity for you as a couple.

7. Remember to talk to each other for at least 15 minutes a day, you learn something new about each other daily. Appreciate that.

8. Sometimes you have to shut up and be supportive.

9. Be flexible. Learn to juggle, and embrace your opportunities to be alone as an individual. I really enjoy having the house to myself when he's out with the guys or attending a work function.This also means that occasionally, you may have to take on their household duties.

10. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Your spouse is not a mind reader if there is something that you want, need, or question, speak up.

Establishing a Budget

The first time we sat down to do a budget was horrifying. I had never lived on a tight budget before. It was MY
money. I could what I wanted when I wanted and I didn't have to answer to anyone. Suddenly, this communal living situation was real: We both had to account for everything and check to make sure we weren't overstepping our financial boundaries. This was totally new territory. Wes and I had taken a class on financial management and household spending. We knew what to expect but expectations and reality are two totally different things. Wes did the budget because he enjoys focusing on things in detail. I am admittedly not a details person, we later discovered that I am only capable of "Budget Management discussions" for fifteen minutes a month. That's it. The first time, he handed me the budget, I looked it over, made some adjustments (I wanted more money for some fun, lets face it, $20 isn't enough for two weeks), and handed it back to him. He didn't go ballistic like I thought he would, just the opposite. We calmly agreed to work together to do the budget and we managed to stick to it, it takes time to adjust to the discussion but, allowing ourselves to communicate openly and clearly about our goals for the month was really refreshing.